🚨 INCIDENT REPORT: Our intern Kevin accidentally deployed the 1997 backup at 3:42 AM. We are working to restore the modern site. ETA: when Kevin wakes up.
🔒 PRIVACY POLICY!! We take your privacy very seriously* (*we think) 🔒 ~ We will NOT sell your data to AltaVista!! ~ Your secrets are safe with us!! (and Kevin) ~ This policy is legally binding in Comic Sans!! 🔒
🚧 !! UNDER CONSTRUCTION !! 🚧

🔒 Privacy Policy 🔒

©2026 'corePHP' LLC | All Rights Reserved

We take your privacy very seriously* (*we think)

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🔍 Information We Collect

We collect your name, email, and whatever you type into our guestbook. We also know you're visitor #015,042. That's about it.


🛠 How We Use Your Information

To build you an AWESOME home page. Also to send our newsletter via AOL. We will NOT sell your data to AltaVista, Lycos, or any search engine.

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🍪 Cookies

We use cookies. Not the chocolate chip kind (though Steven's Mom makes great ones). We use them to count visitors and track how many times Kevin breaks the deployment.


🔐 Security

Your data is protected by our state-of-the-art security system: a password that is definitely NOT 'password123'. (Kevin, if you're reading this, CHANGE IT.)

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🤝 Third Parties

We share your data with absolutely nobody. Mostly because nobody has asked.


📝 Changes to This Policy

We may update this whenever we feel like it. Last update: April 1, 2026.

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📧 Contact

Questions? Email support@corephp.com or send a carrier pigeon to Battle Creek, MI.


⚖ Legal Disclaimer

This privacy policy was written in Comic Sans and is therefore legally binding in all 50 states and the GeoCities Terms of Service.

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📞 Get In Touch

🌐 PHP Developers Web Ring 🌐

This site is part of the PHP Developers Web Ring


💻  Done